Dluxe's World

Monday, April 21

Favorite Posts [9] : Bad Theology Rants

As I went through all the posts that have appeared on this blog, it is obvious that my favorite literary medium is the rant. My best rants were usually reserved for the completely whack theology that I'd come across...

Here a countdown of my personal favorites:

6) Brian McLaren's novel approach to tough issues
I am a person who often needs to spend a lot of time thinking things through... My brain is underpowered and has too many cobwebs around for me to be willing to just pontificate at the drop of a hat (more on that in a future post).

Even so, something about Brian McLaren's approach to dealing with the homosexuality issue just made my teeth grind together. Again, my brain is slow... But it seems to me that the issue has already been clearly resolved in Scripture. Take it or leave it.

5) Whatever Joel Osteen is, it ain't a pastor
Smilin' Joel-O has been a favorite whipping boy of mine since I first heard him 'preach' on TV. I'm sure Joel is a nice guy, and he may even be a Christian... But he cannot be a good pastor - at least not when held against any Biblical standard of 'pastoring'.

Just for comparison, take a gander at this little juxtaposition of the message in Joel-O's first book and John Owen. Which one is more likely to shepherd the readers toward conformation to the image of Christ?

4) Low-balling marriage for the sake of 'mission'
Another Emergent rant... In this case, I'm rambling about how one emergent pastor (Bill Yaccino) decides whom he'll marry at his church. He seems to think that giving 'spiritual people' their traditional church wedding is a way to be "missional". I beg to differ.

This was the 2nd 'big link' in this little blog's history... Of course, two posts after this I ranted against the owner of the 'watch-blog' that linked in. So much for that budding opportunity at fame.

3) "Snoogums the Chihuahua" and Purpose-Driven Pets
Still one of the top-hit generators on this blog, and the first of two pot-shots taken at the Purpose-Driven man himself, Rick Warren.

I love animals... Really! But there's just something wrong with accepting a theology that says Heaven will include our pets since we probably couldn't be happy in eternity without them. I dunno. I just don't remember see that bit surrounding the endless cries re: the triumph of the Lamb. Perhaps it's in the apocrypha?

This was the 1st 'big link' in Dluxe's World history - and it came from no less than the mega-uber-blogger Tim Challies. I suppose when you link someone, quote them, and describe their comments as "eloquent" good things are bound to happen. Thanks, Tim!

2) The Methodist Chronicles (Part 1 and Part 2)
I was born and raised in a small-town United Methodist church. So, it's not surprising that I keep an eye on the developments within the UMC and feel the need to rant about what I see.

First, I went a little coo-coo-for-Coco-Puffs over the Minnesota UMC's decision to "to fully welcome gays and lesbians and to support gay marriage and the ordination of gay clergy." As I mentioned re: Brian McLaren above, I just can't help but see that issue as settled in Scripture. The post did lead to a fun discussion with my favorite Methodist seminarian (and soon-to-be-pastor), Josh Doughty.

Josh reappeared (on request) for the fun in my second UMC rant... This time, my blowing a fuse was caused by the decision of one church/conference to retain a pastor after he and/or she had undergone a sex-change. I didn't really rant much - instead leaving the insightful commentary to the much more piercing Al Mohler.

1) Beware of the concordance!
This isn't really a rant, per se, but it's absolutely my favorite "They did what??!?!" post of all time. Try to figure out what's wrong with this banner ad I spied while surfing the net one day (church name clipped to protect the guilty).

Once you think you've got it, click here to get the answer from the original post.

Ahhhh.... The internet. Never-ending source of amusement.

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